Not Done Yet

It’s been a long time since I’ve written, which is mostly because life has resumed its pre-injury pace, I’ve had less time for blogging. The only reason I’m writing now is that I’m home from work recouping from a little stomach bug. Let me tell you, most of the time I don’t mind my commute; I actually like the time it gives me to think and refocus. But when you’re just trying to get home before an urgent pull-over is necessary, the hour’s drive is NOT fun. Kind of funny to look back on, but not funny in the moment. I’ll spare you the details.

A lot has happened since I wrote last:

  • Went back to work full-time, after a gradual increase in work hours each week. I’m involved in some really interesting stuff…but there’s a lot of it. Apparently it’s not a great idea to be away for three months at a time if you want to stay on top of things. I’m slowly chipping away at the backlog and trying to stay a step ahead of deadlines. Luckily I have some fun co-workers to keep me sane. Unluckily, we’re having new carpet installed in the building this week, which means a lot of carpet glue fumes. Can’t say for sure if this contributed to the barfarama, but it sure didn’t make me feel better.

    The whole fam damily, overlooking Canandaigua Lake.

  • Michael and I took the girls for a leaf-gawking trip around Canandaigua Lake a couple of weeks ago. They loved it. I loved it. We even scored a hot-from-the-oven grape pie in Naples right before coming home. YUM. Best pie I’ve had in quite a while. Perfect crust, and vegan to boot!
  • She's barky in the car but just too sweet to get mad at.

    Been doing yoga every Saturday morning. LOVE it.

  • Ma & Pa Hanson visited in the midst of their NY / New England Color Tour. Good to see them, good to have another excuse to eat at the Owl House.
  • I ran for the first time in PT last week! It was awesome! The return-to-running program calls for alternating intervals of .07 miles run & walk. So basically walk 1 minute, jog 1 minute, etc.
  • Unfortunately, I proceeded to strain or overdo something this weekend. I’m guessing it was hauling bags of cat litter around on Sunday; I also rode the bike trainer & went to yoga, but I’ve been doing that for a while. Anyhow, I got on the treadmill Monday at the gym to do my walk/jog intervals, and my right hip hurt. Not just a muscle hurt, but a deeper hurt. The kind I know better than to push through. So no running, and Geoff the PT says we’ll reassess on Friday. Of course that’s no problem now, since as I’m a sickie today, I’m not doing much of anything active.

    The Owl House with mom.

This is disappointing. I like forward progress. I like seeing myself able to do things I couldn’t before, and until this point I’ve been seeing that progress. I’ve built a lot of muscle strength and cardiovascular fitness in the last month…but alas. As I walked out of the gym on Monday I realized that this is just telling me that I’m still in progress. Just because I’m generally functional now doesn’t mean that my healing process is done. And it definitely doesn’t mean that my potential for growth and improvement is done; in reality, it’s just beginning. My body will still reach limits, give me signals, and wait for me to respond. I just need to expect that, rather than figure I’ll just ride a continual wave of improvement until I croak. 🙂

I think growing up I had this illusion that once you get to be an adult, you just enter this state of stasis, maintenance. And let’s be honest. When I graduated college I had basically NO idea what my adult life would look like. I had assumptions, but not a real clear vision. Maybe no one does. So instead of getting stressed out when my reality doesn’t meet my assumptions, I can take those instances as opportunities, openings into places I wasn’t planning on going. Case in point: it wasn’t really in my plan for the week to spend today at home eating saltines. I’ll be a day behind at work (but really, who’s counting at this point – ha!), but good stuff came out of today. I got bills paid, researched a couple things that I’d been meaning to, and got some extra sleep. And stayed in my snuggly bathrobe all day. I got a chance to go slow and breathe, which was what I needed on several levels.

Where to next?

To close up, I should mention the latte milk frother that Michael brought home a couple weeks ago. It’s like a miniature stick blender, and it whips air into milk just like at coffeehouses. WAY too much fun. So we’ve been making these fantastic latte drinks at home, and often while I’m drinking them I think, “How did I not discover coffee for the first 30 years of my life?” But really, I hope that when I’m 85, I will still be discovering things that make me think that. Of course, I’ll have to increase my consumption of those things to make up for all the lost time…


About solveighanson

I'm a (late) thirtysomething Plant Breeding Ph.D. student, daughter / sister / auntie, vegetable fan, yogi, sometime cyclist, and enthusiastic if infrequent baker. I started this blog in the summer of 2010 to trace my recovery from a pelvic fracture sustained in a cycling accident. That healing process was truly transformative, and since then I seem to have written mostly about the transformations that have followed. And hence the title of the blog: Don't call me a butterfly, because I'm not done changing.
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