It’s been a really long time since I’ve blogged – like almost two months. I’ve started to write lots of posts – mentally – but they’ve never actually been typed out, for two main reasons.
First, I’ve been really busy! July was truly a whirlwind, what with racing Tri in the Buff and the Double Mussel, traveling to Ohio for work, and spectating at Ironman Lake Placid. I knew I had hit my fatigue threshold when I fell asleep on the hot pavement at noon beside the Score-This! tent at Lake Placid. I mean, really? And then I went to work two days later and had a meltdown when my coworkers pointed out that my bean plants weren’t looking so healthy. Yeah. Time to slow down.
So August was a bit more chill from the training and racing standpoint. I kept training, fell in love with open water swimming, worked in some really fun longer bike rides, and upped my run capacity to 45 minutes at a crack. Yeah! I also traveled for about two weeks for work, visiting vegetable trials (and my brother, sister in law & grandma!) in Wisconsin and a pretty hopping trade show in Chicago. But as much as I learned and enjoyed, I was happy to get home. My apartment is little and – let’s be honest – somewhere between tolerably cluttered and aggravatingly cluttered, but it’s my space, and I like it. I will like a different apartment with parking, on-site laundry, and air conditioning even more, but that will come in time.
I’ve been cooking a lot, since my awesome CSA’s and the trial beds at work keep the freight train of delicious locally raised fruits and vegetables rolling into my kitchen. I roast a lot, since it’s EASY and tasty, and I’ve become a huge fan of the Magic Bullet (a mini shake-size blender which reportedly is advertised via infomercials?). I have made LOTS of fabulous shakes using frozen fruit, soymilk, soy yogurt and/or various protein powders. Like chocolate soymilk, vanilla soy protein powder, frozen cherries, and just a nip of salt for a post-workout smoothie. Heaven in a glass!
SOOO…this weekend brings my last big events of the season. Tomorrow I’ll ride the Corkscrew Century of the Highlander Cycle Tour, which despite the 100 mile length and 6000 feet of climbing is considered the sane option of the routes offered. And then on Sunday I’ll do the sprint race of the Finger Lakes Triathlon. Yeah! Together they call these the High Tri Challenge, for completing which I’m pretty sure I’ll get an extra pair of socks or something. 🙂
Normally before races or events I feel nervous…but I’m not right now. I’m just excited. I get to spend 6 or 7 hours on my bike tomorrow, riding around truly beautiful country with nice people. It’s even supposed to be sunny – or at least not rainy. My challenges will be to manage my nutrition, to stay plugged into how my body is feeling so that I finish healthy, and to pace well so I finish strong. And of course to keep the rubber side down. But I’m honestly just looking forward to the day, the people, a bit of recovery, and then pouring out everything I have left at the FLT on Sunday! (Except bodily fluids more functional inside than outside the body. I aim to feather the puke zone but not enter it. Yick.)
This lack of anxiety brings me to the second reason I haven’t posted much over the last couple of months. I’ve been spending time calming my inner chatter. Tuning into it, realizing when I imagine criticism from others, and finding what I’m actually nervous about. It’s truly a gift that after you run scared long enough, it becomes easier to face the fear than to keep running. It’s a kind of surrender, I suppose. An admission of imperfection and an opportunity for grace.
So a lot of times over the past weeks, when I’d find myself writing blog posts in my head, I’d just let them roll away. I put myself deeper into where I was rather than imagining how I’d report on it later. I’m learning to make space for living my life, being exactly where and who I am, instead of justifying it to some imagined critic. This is so refreshing that I can’t even express it.
Anyhow, watch this space tomorrow for some photos of the gorgeous Finger Lakes and probably some bike helmets. And then watch over the next couple of months as the title and look of the blog change, along with my coaching arrangements, the color of the trees, and who knows what else!